The Voice: Cher, and Cher Alike

After watching my first full season of The Voice, I see why American Idol is starting to fall by the wayside. The way the competition is set up on The Voice seems to me a lot more fair, especially since singers are not initially judged by their outward appearance, but by singing voice alone. Wonder what the judges would have said about Cher’s season finale performance, had the chairs been turned the other way?

Looking back at the video, one can see the “deer caught in headlights” expression on Usher’s mug, and Shakira had a look like she had just ingested a bad clam. Adam was bopping, albeit gratuitous bopping. And I don’t think they cut to Blake. He was probably taking another nip from his ever-present stash- I know I would have.

So here is Cher, and her first televised performance in over a decade. She shows up wearing an outfit that is part Mad Max/Road Warrior and part “rejected ideas for 1980’s KISS costumes.” One look at her wig, and I discovered where the Angry Birds all go when they die. Sure, the ensemble was unfortunate, but this is Cher- the performance will be stellar, right?

If what you mean by stellar is trodding the stage like Ozzy Osbourne with a vagina and lip syncing - often badly (see the video at the :43 mark) to a rave dance number, then... At this point, I felt sure Sonny Bono was glad he was dead.

C’mon, Cher. We all know you were always “edgy,” like the 80’s video on the Navy ship with the see-thru number- but as you approach the big 7-0, please consider toning it down a bit, and for the love of Pete, please avoid lip-synching and auto tuning at all costs. Remember, after all these decades, we love you. You no longer need to shock us into submission.

My public plea to Mr. Chaz Bono: “Chaz, please, please, please let your Mom know that we love her, and most of us hate a media whore.

Oh... uh.. never mind.

-Michael Buffalo Smith

Our winner, 16-year-old Danielle Bradbery and Cher, 67,
who changed outfits and wigs for the after-party.
Here she rocks the almost Grandmotherly "Tina Turner meets
David Bowie on Labyrinth" head piece.

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